i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
