Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
