Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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