i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
