I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
