He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
