do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
