the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
