Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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