Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
