just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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