I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize