we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
