Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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