Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
