I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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