Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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