she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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