$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
