onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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