I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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