seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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