I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
