I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
