she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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