Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If that was your dad, he is hot
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
