i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
