What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
