My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
