I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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