Just fell off a train. Bad.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
