i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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