You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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