I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
