I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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