does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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