woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
