Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
