God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
