Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
