he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
