but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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