im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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