Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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