some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
