It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I am available for nakedness
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
