Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
