I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
