We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
