The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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