is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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