wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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