I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
