right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
