Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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