Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
this is an emotional support booty call
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
