He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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