hotel room ftw
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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