Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
