The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
