Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

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  (206): I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner http://tfl.nu/6elk
  Replies (2) Good night (2902) Bad night (694)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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  (412): I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God. http://tfl.nu/yxgi
  Replies (34) Good night (1237) Bad night (2716)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would

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  (864): If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would http://tfl.nu/rekg
  Replies (11) Good night (2996) Bad night (1029)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

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  (850): so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time". http://tfl.nu/gojq
  Replies (62) Good night (1268) Bad night (9232)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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  (254): The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium http://tfl.nu/41rv
  Replies (20) Good night (3490) Bad night (1569)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (16481) Bad night (1473)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

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  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3874) Bad night (1820)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (54) Good night (10973) Bad night (1916)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.

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  (903): I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/07kh
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (3479)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

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  (914): Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame http://tfl.nu/j5ak
  Replies (9) Good night (2933) Bad night (1365)
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  (909): View more from California

  He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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  (909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere. http://tfl.nu/wyhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3179) Bad night (821)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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  (512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (619)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.

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  (310): I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/hbci
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (519)
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  (951): View more from California

  oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.

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  (951): oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/odt8
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (361)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis

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  (720): I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis http://tfl.nu/evn6
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (597)

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