So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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