Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
