whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen