Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.

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(386): First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook. http://tfl.nu/2gux

Replies (12) Good night (4972) Bad night (499)
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(619): View more from California

We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants

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(619): We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants http://tfl.nu/owqu

Replies (15) Good night (7679) Bad night (714)
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(718): View more from New York

We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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(718): We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun http://tfl.nu/cluc

Replies (18) Good night (7766) Bad night (664)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

(203): View more from Connecticut

she has to be all "alternative"

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(203): she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head (203): she has to be all "alternative" http://tfl.nu/5hrz

Replies (8) Good night (691) Bad night (3747)
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(631): View more from New York

if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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(631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50

Replies (27) Good night (3338) Bad night (4093)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

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(978): he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey. http://tfl.nu/pfjh

Replies (19) Good night (6687) Bad night (1044)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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(608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y

Replies (31) Good night (6394) Bad night (981)
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(310): View more from California

It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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(310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7

Replies (19) Good night (8337) Bad night (1064)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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(828): I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke." http://tfl.nu/rseq

Replies (48) Good night (1347) Bad night (9777)
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(805): View more from California

I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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(805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l

Replies (6) Good night (4321) Bad night (1350)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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(614): I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing. http://tfl.nu/nz2e

Replies (11) Good night (1130) Bad night (1479)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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(225): I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left. http://tfl.nu/d68g

Replies (24) Good night (3496) Bad night (1417)
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(813): View more from Florida

Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

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(813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc

Replies (5) Good night (1592) Bad night (637)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.

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(416): Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights. http://tfl.nu/9jzc

Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (438)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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(870): I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me. http://tfl.nu/h17o

Replies (12) Good night (1233) Bad night (447)

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