we made out on top of his cat.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You took a bar mat shot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
