K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
